So......
here we are again.
Back, back to the beginning.

I feel like I've been in this exact scenario dozens (if not more) times. I decide I've had enough, that food shouldn't control my life, that nothing tastes as good as being comfortable in my skin feels.

Despite all the rational thinking, I end up binging anyways. "this will be the last time" I'll say....that this will be my last hooray binge and tomorrow will mark the start of my new life...

Yet,
here we are again.
Back, back to the beginning.

When is this going to stop?!!?  I thought if I lost weight I would finally be able to stick to a healthy lifestyle.  I would know what it felt like to finally be a normal size. After losing all my pre-wedding weight, I was finally in the 140's.  Not exactly where I wanted to be, but I was definately headed in the right direction. Fast forward a few months, and a few binges, and I'm back to my heaviest weight.

Everyday, I tell myself that I'm not 20 anymore.  I can't weight this much, eat the things I do, and spend the day parked on the couch and still be healthy.  For the first time, I no longer view this as a method to wear belly shirts, I now need this to be healthy and safe.  But...when am I finally going to begin taking care of myself?

For years, I told myself I just needed to find the right diet. One that allowed me to eat good, nutricious foods and not deprive myself.  I've tried Atkins, the south beach, weight watchers, nutrisystem, 21 day fix, slim fast...I've finally realized (a few hundred dollars later) that it's not the diet that's ineffective, it's me.

So, now that we're back, back at the beginning...why not try a blog to stay accountable? I've tried everything else...what do I have to lose?